What Can’t be Cured Must be Endured Diana Rigg – Mother Love (1989) Today, 3rd February 2021, marks one year since getting the all clear from cancer. I’d been diagnosed with invasive breast cancer in November; had a double mastectomy in January and on this day, one year ago, I gripped my husband’s hand asContinue reading “The Heavy Burden of Grief”
I’m okay that some days, my purpose will just be to make the bed – at least I’ll have got up!
For years, I had loathed the idea that Faye had died for a reason, but what’s the alternative? To think that she had died for no reason at all? That’s also too cruel to contemplate – her life mattered.
I can’t help but picture a powerful metaphor for life where nothing is ever truly broken – the Japanese art of Kintsugi: The Centuries-Old Art of Repairing Broken Pottery with Gold. We’re broken but if rituals work, they can be like seams of gold, emphasizing our scars, fractures, breaks and cracks for all to see in a beautiful way.
I wish I had known what to anticipate and possibly expect back then, instead, I felt that I was going mad. Many will say that you can never fully prepare for how grief will take you, but in some ways, with ongoing research, awareness and dialogue, I think you can … a bit. If you know what you might possibly feel, then it’s not going to come as such a shock.
Yesterday morning, I woke with the first line of, ‘The Long and Winding Road,’ by The Beatles playing in my head and it’s been playing on repeat ever since. This seems to happen to me on a regular basis, as if my life is being played out on a big screen and the tunes IContinue reading “A Soundtrack for The Grief ‘Journey.’”
July 2004 A day or so had passed, since Faye had died and I couldn’t sleep. I got up in the middle of the night, grabbed my car keys and went for a drive. I instinctively drove to her preschool and once there, outside the locked gates, I turned off the engine and sobbed. SheContinue reading “Soul Searching”
“Forget what hurt you in the past, but never forget what it taught you. However, if it taught you to hold onto grudges, seek revenge, not forgive or show compassion, to categorize people as good or bad, to distrust and be guarded with your feelings then you didn’t learn a thing. ” – Shannon L. Adler.Continue reading “Why Me? I’m Feeling Singled Out and Angry.”
If you want a happy ending, learn to open up, because no one can finish a story with a closed book. — Nishan Panwar. My name is Carolyn and you are very welcome here. My daughter Faye, passed away on the 25th July 2004 – when she was just three and a half years old.Continue reading “Who Am I and How Did I Get Here?”